Domestic Abuse Awareness Daily

Domestic Abuse is NOW Legal in Topeka Kansas
By: Meg O' Hanlon

Domestic abuse is never o.k.

Except ...

If You LIve in Topeka Kansas! 

Sure lots of people say: "I would never put up with that" that is until they or someone they love are faced with an abuser within their own "4 walls" And if there are children involved that is a crime worth noting. Children are often subject to seeing or hearing their Mothers' abuse and it often stays within the psyche for a lifetime. 

Tell Someone Today! 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

Statistics prove that abusers teach their children well since many of the children that witnessed abuse as a child often become abusers themselves.    Many times a  child will blame themselves and carry guilt even though they have nothing to do with the parents' relationship or issues.  And while living with an abuser more times than not their anger and actions spill over to the child or children. They may hit or threaten to hit your child, children or pets and call them names or put them down in order to silence  them.   A child will suffer in a variety of ways especially in school and carry a heavy burden since they are afraid to tell anyone what is really going on.  Who can they tell?  They may be prematurely labeled with A.D.H.D.  and begin to act out in school due to cause and effect of the abuse at home or even in school at the hands of so called "professionals."  This can impact their performance and personal development academically, socially and so on.  It is a crime and deserves to be treated as one.  They can't bring their friends over for fear of what could happen and carry a lot of pressure on the inside.  It is a lot to deal with for anyone at any age. It is like being held hostage or as a prisoner in your own home because that is exactly what it is.   What will they do?  The child and the mother carry a lot of the same fears while suffering abuse.  Fear, guilt, distorted emotions, unhealthy attachment to someone that doesn't know  love in a healthy way.  


They feel like they have nowhere to turn.  But they do; that is if they can get away long enough to ask for help since most abusers are controllers and demand to know your every move.   And many times a mother just can't pick up and go due to financial constraints not to mention fear of being found out and beaten or controlled even more.  They may be afraid to call 911 because in the past the system may have failed them and it is a huge step to take without any guarantees of success.  


Staying with an abuser is like walking in front of a bus and hoping not to get hit.  You will be struck down and you will suffer in many ways.  You may get physically abused or you may get your self esteem and personal sense of self as an individual worthy of love, respect and goodness torn to shreds and/or your personal identity stomped over and over again until their is just a cloudy vision of the person you either used to be or dreamed of becoming.  You most likely will lose all sense of self.   But you can begin again and receive the help you need.  You can make it!  You are worth it.  Give yourself and your children a chance.  You deserve to explore your options anyway.  

Here are some numbers and resources for you:

1−800−799−SAFE(7233) orTTY 1−800−787−3224.  

or online @ www.thehotline.org/

 Safety Planning Link

  www.metcouncil.org,

 helpwomen.org,

 womenagainstabuse.org,

   www.womenslawproject.org  

 www.yourlifeyourvoice.org

You will become so absorbed into your partners' life and business that all you can think of is trying to please them and build up their dark ego rather than living your own life.  They are sick people and they need help but don't worry about that right now.  Don't try and figure out why they are the way they are. NO.  First things first, get you and your children and pets safe.  Get yourself some help.  They may never change.  But you can get yourself to safety and create a better life for yourself.  You many have become addicted to trauma and chaos.  You can overcome it but it will take time and learning a new way of life.  You don't have to do it all in one day.  Just begin now.    Now I have plenty more to say about abuse since you don't have to hit someone to abuse them.  You can verbally assault someone and destroy their character they are present or not.   You can financially keep someone hostage within an unhealthy relationship which isn't a healthy, loving relationship (at all) ; it is more like "control" since you don't want your partner to stand in their own power for fear of losing them  "in other words losing control."  

Genocide of Battered Mothers and Children

Listen to me.  You can get help!  Start where you are.  Do not take in the negative messages.  Begin to reject and re-frame those lousy messages.  Say the opposite of what you are being told.  And don't forget to be gentle with yourself.  You can begin again.   You may have to learn how to give yourself tough love in order to empower yourself forward.   You need to treat yourself with kindness, gentleness, respect and love.  You will have to keep going no matter what.  Hang onto hope daily even if it is just a thread; if you must go from minute to minute.  You can reach out for help when you get a chance so you can talk to someone and know you are not alone; You are no longer alone!  


 Here are some numbers and resources:
 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) orTTY 1−800−787−3224.  
or online @ www.thehotline.org/
 Safety Planning Link
  www.metcouncil.org,
 helpwomen.org,
 womenagainstabuse.org,
   www.womenslawproject.org  
 www.yourlifeyourvoice.org